Points to consider before moving in with your partner

Points to consider before moving in with your partner

Updated on May 11 2024

Living together is indeed an exciting milestone for any couple. It's a unique adventure filled with shared meals, morning coffee rituals, decorating your common space, and the simple joy of each other's company. However, it's also a chapter that introduces a new set of challenges, requiring both partners to navigate through a myriad of adjustments and compromises. This significant step becomes more intriguing within the context of Filipino culture, where tradition and modernity often intermingle.

In recent years, cohabitation or "live-in" arrangements are increasingly becoming a common practice among Filipino couples, particularly the younger generation. For many, it's considered a practical, even essential, step before tying the knot. It provides couples with a realistic glimpse into their partner's living habits, values, and their ability to tackle day-to-day challenges together.

1. Discuss Expectations

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Before moving in together, it's important to sit down and have a sincere conversation about your expectations. This is not limited to discussing who will take out the trash or how to split the grocery bill, but also digs deeper into each person's vision of shared living.

Topics might include how much time you'll spend together versus separately, how you'll handle disagreements, how you'll balance family visits, and your views on important aspects like financial management, personal space, and future plans. Clarifying these details ahead of time helps avoid misunderstandings and sets a solid foundation for your life together.

2. Financial Planning

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Sharing a living space also means sharing financial responsibilities. This aspect of living together can be a tricky terrain, making it all the more important to discuss openly and honestly. Key topics to consider include how you'll split rent or mortgage, utility bills, groceries, and other common expenses.

Will you divide everything equally or base contributions on each person's income? Will you maintain separate bank accounts, or open a joint account for household expenses? Will you save together for shared goals, like vacations or home improvements? Establishing a clear financial agreement early on can help prevent disagreements and financial stress in the future.

3. Creating a Shared Space

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A home is more than just a physical space; it's a sanctuary that should reflect both of your personalities and interests. From deciding on the color palette to choosing the furniture and decor, each decision provides an opportunity for collaboration and compromise.

Keep in mind that you're merging two separate lives into one shared space. This might mean letting go of certain items, repurposing others, and acquiring new pieces that you both love. It's a balancing act between maintaining individuality and creating a common home that you both enjoy and feel comfortable in.

4. Division of Chores

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As mundane as it may sound, deciding who does what in terms of household chores is crucial. Ensure a fair division of labor and establish a system that works for both of you. Who will take care of cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, or taking out the trash? These may seem like trivial matters, but in reality, they play a significant role in maintaining harmony in your shared home.

Also, bear in mind that being flexible and willing to help each other out when needed can foster a more cooperative and supportive living environment.

5. Maintaining Individuality

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While living together means sharing a lot, it doesn't necessarily mean doing everything together. It's vital to respect and preserve each other's individuality and personal space. Each of you should feel free to pursue personal interests, hobbies, or simply spend time alone when needed.

This also extends to socializing; it's healthy to maintain relationships with friends and family individually, as well as a couple. Remember, preserving your individual identities enriches your shared life and keeps the relationship balanced.

6. Communication is Key

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Like any other aspect of a relationship, communication is the cornerstone of a successful cohabitation. Regularly checking in with each other, discussing what's working and what isn't, addressing issues as they arise, and expressing appreciation are all vital.

Don't let small irritations accumulate and become big problems. Keep your communication channels open, respectful, and honest. Your home should be a safe space for expressing feelings, thoughts, and concerns.

7. Prepare for Challenges

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Even with all the preparations, discussions, and arrangements, there will be bumps along the road. There will be disagreements, differences of opinion, and adjustments to be made. What's important is how you handle these challenges. Patience, understanding, empathy, and a willingness to compromise are key.

Remember, it's perfectly normal to experience growing pains as you navigate this new phase. What matters is that you work through them together, always with love and respect.

8. Enjoy the Experience

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Despite the occasional challenges, living together is a beautiful experience. It's an opportunity to create a shared sanctuary, build a future, and make memories. Remember to enjoy the journey and cherish the moments you share.

In essence, moving in together is about more than just sharing a space; it's about sharing your lives, growing together, and building a strong partnership. It's not always smooth sailing, but with open communication, mutual respect, understanding, and lots of love, it can be one of the most fulfilling experiences for any couple.

Keep these tips in mind, and you're off to a great start. Remember, creating a shared home isn't just about living together; it's about building a life together, a journey that's every bit as exciting as it is rewarding. Good luck, and enjoy every step of this new adventure!

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